It is a truth universally ignored that many of us don't really like networking. 

It's an integral part of the events and corporate travel industry - a world that runs on making connections, attending parties, talking to strangers. But, speaking as a reporter, I'm always quietly relieved when whoever I'm talking to whispers to me conspiratorially 'I hate these things - I'm no good at schmoozing.' 

It's a relief to acknowledge that events - despite the presence of fun people, good drink and food, a lively setting - can be hard work. Because people often mistake the ability to charm, to make connections, to make small talk, as a talent some people have, and some people don't.

The truth is it's a soft skill set - like anything else in the industry, it can be cultivated. 

The question is, how? The prevailing advice that people offer shy or introverted people - 'relax - just be yourself' is next to useless, in execution, when your palms are sweaty and your mind freezes at trying to think of conversation starters. But as someone who, over nearly two decades, went from being socially inept to genuinely enjoying meeting new people at events, I promise it can be - if you're struggling with it, we've consulted some industry leaders on how they 'work the room' with confidence and pride. 

Kim Salt is the PR Manager of Associate Events Limited, a full-service, events and marketing agency based in Leicester, with over twenty years of industry experience. Here are her tips for finding confidence when anxious about an event. 

Dress to make your presence felt

I love adding one bright item of clothing to an outfit - it gives off good energy inwardly and outwardly.  I was told years ago to always wear something bright when you go to an event so people have a point of entry for talking to you. It doesn't have to be obnoxious, or garish, just bright enough that you feel like you're taking up space when you're entering a room. It puts me in a frame of mind. 

Remember you belong there

Many people go to these events, thinking everyone in there is already best friends, and they're the odd one out. That's just not true. There are people in any room as keen to make connections and get things done, as you are. My bright piece of clothing is a quick, personal trick that helps me get into that headspace. You can find whatever tool it is that works for you.

Ask for advice and help! 

Also - if you're younger, particularly a younger woman, find older women and talk to them for their advice on networking. They'll have learned how to handle these situations and can be wonderful for reminding you that you belong exactly where you are. I've been working in these types of rooms for twenty years - I come from a working-class background - and I know full well now that I belong there, but it can be a journey discovering that. 

Zac Goodman is Head of PR & Marketing at DRPG, a full-service global communications agency. Here is his approach to presenting as confident at events, and getting the most out of them. 

Before the event - set some goals

Set yourself some achievable goals—this is work, after all, and attending with a clear purpose will make the experience more valuable. Decide on an objective, whether it's to establish a handful of new contacts or secure a meeting with just one individual.

Bring a wingman or wingwoman

If you’re new to networking or feel nervous about entering the room solo, consider inviting a colleague. However, avoid being attached at the hip; chatting exclusively with someone familiar can discourage others from approaching. Share your goals with your colleagues and team up as each other’s “professional wingman” to help you make connections more easily. 

At the event - behave professionally, and attentively 

Even though this isn’t a job interview, it’s still essential to make a positive impression. Put your phone away, maintain eye contact, and keep alcoholic drinks to a level you can comfortably handle—or skip them altogether. Most importantly, listen actively. Listening is a powerful tool; small details you pick up in conversation—like someone’s plans for the morning or their favorite TV show—can make a memorable impact when following up. 

After the event - be personal in your follow-up

To avoid becoming just another LinkedIn connection with a faintly familiar face, make an effort to follow up thoughtfully. Engage with people’s posts about the event and stay involved. Whether your goal is expanding your professional network or building new leads, maintaining these connections takes time and intention. Take that extra step to send a personal message or comment; it’s a simple way to reinforce a meaningful connection. 

Jon Stokoe is the Communications Manager at Brighter, part of Clarity Business Travel, a travel and meetings management company. As a former journalist, he's had extensive experience learning how to make connections with people in a variety of settings. Here is his advice.

The more you do it, the better you get - so be bold

Fortunately, I had a good grounding in networking which I attribute to my elders in the newsroom when I was cutting my teeth as a cub reporter back in the day. They told me not to be afraid to ‘make the first move’. A quick hello or a nod by the tea and coffee can break the ice and before you know it, the conversation will flow.

Just consider it to be like chatting with your friends or family.  Don’t be afraid to make that initial contact, then introduce yourself. 

Make a beeline for the 'confident' people

My colleague Claire Conboy, Brighter’s Head of Groups, Meetings & Events, said a good tactic can be introducing yourself to the most extroverted person in the room and hoping they can get the conversations started and you can bounce off them.

Set goals for your interactions

Another colleague advised to set specific goals for what you want to achieve from networking. This can help you feel more intentional and avoid feeling aimless. Knowing, for example, that you're keen to learn about their role and exchange emails can give you a clarity of vision for chatting. 

See if you can make contact ahead of the event

Use social media to start conversations and arrange face-to-face meetings and be prepared - have at least three questions ready to ask someone. Find out some more information about the people you want to talk to, or about the business they work for, or research the subject of the seminar, meeting, or event.

Be aware different people socialise differently

You can have those who are confident and buzz around, joining different conversations before moving on to another. While others are quieter and take their time to find the right people before interacting. Be sympathetic to their approach - don't mistake others who are shy as being disinterested! 

Whether they’re an intern, a manager, or a CEO, be yourself, be polite and be respectful, and don’t be afraid to listen – and you can’t go far wrong.